Over

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

- "It's not over", Secondhand Serenade

Well. Its over.

She technically was avoiding me last year I guess. Not this year.

She just sees me as a friend now. At least we can talk to each other honestly and straightforwardly.

I'm disappointed, its true. And yet, maybe because I've already expected it deep down, or maybe I'm just blocking it off, I'm not as upset as I thought I would be. In fact, a part of me is....relieved. Not exactly what I thought I would feel.

I could just kick myself for my own stupidity, past and present, but that won't really help matters anymore at this point of time I guess.

Time to move on.

Rambling Thoughts

There are so many other things I should blog about. That I can blog about. That I'm planning to blog about. But undeniably, I only tend to blog when I'm feeling down or emo. And being a brooding and melancholic guy by nature, this tends to happen pretty often...especially if left alone.

*Much online reading later*

Ok, so I got sidetracked...as I often do. What originally was about to turn into an emo post has changed abit. I started reading some websites on freewill, a question that has always been bugging me for a long time and there sure are quite a few forums going on about it. From there, it leads to questions of omnipotence, freewill vs. morality....but I think I'll leave that for another time.

Ok, so maybe I'm still gonna go ahead with the original post, but at least I know I'm not feeling so emo anymore. Hmmm...you know, I really should stop using that word. 'Emo' is one of those words that don't really describe anything, like 'nice'.

RAAARRRRHHHHH!!!! *ahem* Heh, I remember reading in a humorous book where a running gag was that more than 3 exclamation marks by a person usually denote an unhinged mind. 5 was a sure sign of insanity.

Ah forget it. When I'm not feeling emo or being focused, my mind wanders around way too much. No way I can type out my original post anymore. I suppose that's for the best in any case.

I'm thinking of you right now though. I realize that I may not be as important to you as you are to me. It hurts. If you don't want to see me it would be better to just say it instead of always being busy or somewhere else. Cos just so you know, I'll always keep asking unless you tell me not to.

Heh, guess I ended up being a little emo after all.