Here'e to the Night

So denied so I lied are you the now or never kind
In a day and a day love I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had are you cool with just tonight
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Put your name on the line along with place and time
Wanna stay not to go I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

- "Here's to the Night", Eve 6

A toast. Here's to the nights my friend. Good bye, and I sincerely hope that you are in a better place.

Blogging, life and work

Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Just a city boy
Born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

A singer in a smoky room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice just one more time

Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight people

- "Don't Stop Beliving", Journey

Ok, I admit. I didnt even know Journey existed untill I watched Glee. Just finished all 22 episodes of season 1. Am now eagerly waiting for season 2. Am now heart and soul a Glee fan =) Also, have expanded my musical horizons quite a bit now. For example, I think Queen is actually pretty good.

I have say, considering that the last time I blogged was freaking LAST YEAR november, its really been a while since I've blogged. On one hand, I guess because I was (am?) less...emo, but mainly, its because I've been too busy with work and stuff. Still got so many movies to watch, books to read and so on.

I guess most of us blogged because as students, we really just had too much free time on our hands. The moment we start working, unless blogging really is your passion, or source of income, after a while we just drift off I guess.

Still, this place is like my very own unofficial therapy site, albeit one which I have to clean up the spam comments that appear once in a while. Guess I'll still pop in here from time to time. At the very least, not another half a year absence. Heh.

I sometimes think this

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better

He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says, you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

But I've been screamin' and fightin'
And kissin' in the rain
And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you

Breakin' down and comin' undone
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He respects my space and never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable

But I've been screamin' and fightin'
And kissin' in the rain
And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you

Breakin' down and comin' undone
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He can't see the smile I'm fakin'
And my heart's not breakin'
'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all

And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated
Got away by some mistake and now

I'll be screamin' and fightin'
And kissin' in the rain
It's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you

Breakin' down and comin' undone
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

And that's the way I loved you
I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

- "The way I loved you", Taylor Swift

Do I love you? Or am I just playing the role of a boy friend so well that I cant tell the difference. Is this just me thinking that the grass is greener on the other side (in other words, being an asshole); or am I really trapping myself in a relationship where I'm...settling for someone, and am not actually passionate about someone?

I wish I knew you know. Really. When you're with me, I act, behave, and pretty much how you expect a boyfriend to be. When you're not, I find myself thinking thoughts like this, my attentions and affections wandering, my faithfulness to you increasingly being tested with each encounter.

And I really don't want to live like this. You're everything a guy could ask for really, no matter what baggage you come with. Everyone has their own issues after all. And yet, I'm missing that fiery passion that comes when someone special enters my life, fills me completely, makes me act crazy. The way I was when I was with...others.

Still, I'm conscious of the possibility that I'm in fact, fed too much of hollywood bullshit and that I'm actually more in love with the idea of "Romantic Love" as we see/read in fiction then I'm in love with a real person. Maybe how I feel for you is actually what other people have, just that I myself am unsatisfied, thinking that there is more to it or what not.

I have done some seemingly crazy things, but in truth, I know in a few of them I was actually coldly calculating the best response to the situation, while in the majority of others, I was really just...being a boyfriend. One could say I was...fulfilling my duty. Heh. I'm not sure how many I did was out of the fact that I was head over heels, madly, truly, deeply in love with you.

The way I loved others before.